Right... i'm back. after one month plus? Why am i even here? i don't feel like blogging.... argh

it's 3:15am and i'm still in my guides U from Vs campfire. ahhh!!! i stink!
oh yeh! Vs campfire ROCKS! and we won Best Supporting! i'm so so so happy.
finally
Haven felt like that in months.
sec4 life. i love it yet i hate it like hell. how?
The new Guides blog blog skin rocks. so cute. and the drawing thingy? so cool.
whoever took the effort to put it up. thanks lots.
the music is so sweet. listening to it now. lolx.
k, k... i think i should go and bath.

Happiness is when you're walking down the lil' gravel path of life and you find different sweets on the floor now and then. That happiness is like finding the much longed for bar of chocolate or strawberry-flavoured gum and slowly savouring it. It always disappear too quickly. But the taste lasts for a long time and the memory is pleasant. But you'll never find one similar to it again. Never.

i think i'll continue and blog a bit more. feel so .... weird...
it's the same feeling i get when i was really really young? and my aunt came
to visit and after staying for like a month plus she had to go back to US
and i felt so... weird also. you know usually ppl will say you feel it
in your heart. but i feel it in my stomach. Hahahaha! maybe that's
why i keep saying it's weird. i mean. how many ppl feels with their stomach.
wow. i might just go and enter Guiness book of records.
how does it feel like? It feels like you crammed too many things into your stomach
and just had an operation to open it up and take everything out.
so it's like empty? i guess....
I really don't want to go bath. Cos' i promised myself that
after i bath i'll go study chinese 3B until morning. or until i finish it
whichever comes first.
I juz told emmy this but i'll say it again.
I don't want to go bath because i know that after that
all my feelings of happiness will just flow with the water
down the sewage hole.
all the stress and unhappiness of this inperfect world will come
back. that's why i said
I Love sec4 life. Yet i hate it.
how confusing.
i don't really want to grow up. You see people everyone saying that they want to grow up really quickly so that they can get a job or wear nice clothes or spend lots of money.
i don't
i just wanna stay where i am or even move backwards in time.
i'm happy here.
i'm happy being allowed to be childish at times
juz cos' i'm not an adult yet.
i'm happy with a group of friends around me.
i'm happy having June hols. and all other sch hols.
i'm happy being able to imagine and soar through
the skies and daze off suddenly and dream of the
wildest stuffs just cos' i'm not an adult yet.

I mean. how many adults do you see jumping up and down when out
with friends?
How many adults do you see laughing like crazy over some tiny thing?
How many adults do you see screaming when they hear Black Eye Peas
or It's All About You coming on the radio?
How many adults do you see suddenly breaking into dance steps or
acting crazy suddenly?
How many adults do you see making weird faces at each other?
[[really. treasure every moment of your life...]]]]

well... i guess i'm just afraid that as i grow older, i'll get so
stressed and watever watever until i turn into this grouchy
grumpy old lady who don't laugh at lame stuffs and think spongebob
is gay and a huge yellow disgrace and i would rather go watch some
very slow and very gloomy movie like The Pianist than Howl's Moving Castle
anytime. I don't want to be sensibly matured and have other sensibly matured adults turn their nose on me just cos' i said something really {DUH!}. I'm afraid i'll become like my mum. I realised that she never laughed before.
Isn't that impossible?
I mean. She smiles when she's happy. And when we say really funni stuffs, my sister
and i will just open our mouths wide and go "HAHAHAHAH!" but my mum
just widens her smile. I wonder why. Are we not allowed to laugh when we grow up?
I still wanna laugh when i grow up.
I still wanna think lame = funny when i grow up.
I hope my lame brain cells still work when i grow up.
I think it's already happening. I'm not as lame as when i was in sec2.
i can't count primary sch days cos' i was too bur to be lame.
Let's just take an example now.
If we caught our juniors doing crazy stuffs or playin Pepsi Cola 1,2,3, we'll just think
oh wells. lolx. crazy ppl.
If our juniors caught us making stupid faces or burping at each other,
they'll think. Omg. . . .. .

ARGH! i think i'm thinkin' too much. have half a mind to delete this whole blog.
should i?